Tag Archives: Ke$ha

Dear People in the Entertainment News Business

Dear People in the Entertainment News Business,

A few days ago, I switched the radio from its normal spot on NPR/public radio to some Top 40 station. I don’t really remember why.  I probably wanted to hear that new P!nk song (and I’m ashamed that I don’t feel more shame about loving that song).  Anyway, the whys and wherefors and whoseits don’t really matter.  What matters is that, upon turning to this station, I heard a DJ say roughly the following:

Female DJ: We have a debate going on this morning. I think Kim Kardashian’s maternity wear is getting better and better.  [Male DJ] doesn’t agree.  More on that in a few minutes.

Seriously?! This is a conversation you chose to have not just once off the air, but a second time on the air? I just…my brain..melted a little there.

Okay, I’ll stop writing about the banality of entertainment news or whatever.  I actually have a sincere question for those of you in this business:

How do you have opinions on these things?

I am a great purveyor opinions.  I’m fairly certain I have opinions on far more things than the average person.  I have expressed opinions on topics ranging from the pronounceability of the dollar sign in Ke$ha’s name to people’s choices to be buried with their earthly belongings to the incorrect punctuation on a sign for a certain hotel chain.  And that’s just on this blog.  Other opinions  that I have recently expressed to friends and family members range from the way in which people use Instagram to the existence of konapun videos to the names of companies which produce cloth diapers to whether caring about politics is really beneficial on an individual level.

I have opinions on many, many things.  But I still don’t understand how you can form opinions on whether or not a pregnant woman who is literally famous for either a sex tape, her father/step-father being famous or for simply being rich is buying more fashionable maternity clothing this month.  Is this really a thing to care about?

I realize this may come across as the pot calling the kettle black.  But, I really am curious about this.  Every time I listen to or watch any sort of entertainment news program I am hit with how absurdly obsessed with minutia everyone seems to be.  How do you have opinions on these things?  Is it drudgery having to act like you care about the state of a celebrity’s hair?  Or do you really find these topics interesting?

Please respond. Inquiring minds and all.

Sincerely,

Chelsea

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Dear Ke$ha

Dear Ke$ha,

There are many things about you that bother me. For one, your image is trashy. Another thing is the complete lack of class in your lyrics and demeanor. That video for “Tik Tok” certainly isn’t winning you any points in my book, either.

However, the thing that bothers me most about you isn’t listed above. The thing that bothers me most about you is the spelling of your name.

I understand that your name is, in fact Kesha. But because of the restyling of your name, you have chosen to go by Ke$ha, a choice which makes you appear to be entirely uneducated.

What you may not have learned in whatever school taught you to read is that symbols don’t make sounds. The dollar sign ($) is silent. It is not a proper replacement for the letter ‘s’ as it is not pronounced at all. It is simply meant to indicate that the numbers following it are in dollars rather than pounds or rupees. One will occasionally say “dollars” when it appears, but it is never, ever to be used to replace an ‘s’.

So, this leaves you with a choice: you may change the spelling of your name back to the one your parents gave you (Kesha) or you may accept the fact that I will be pronouncing your name in one of the following ways: “Keha,” “Ke-ha-dollars,” or “Ke-dollar-sign-ha”. I’m leaning toward the latter.

Thank your for your time.

Sincerely,
Chelsea