Tag Archives: eczema

Dear Eczema

Dear Eczema,

You started out as a wee little patch of skin on my eyelid.  This was a long time ago, back before I can remember.  You then disappeared for a good long while before migrating to the back of my neck.  In the fifteen years since the back-of-the-neck patch of  you, you have moved to my throat and have settled in quite nicely.  You’ve now held your residence there for literal years, and while you’ve been a consistent tenant, I must ask you to leave.

I understand that we’ve fallen into a bit of a comfortable pattern and that you feel you are more than welcome to stay.  I also understand that the newest patches of you were probably just sent to my left shoulder this afternoon because it felt left out of all of the itchy fun that the rest of my skin was getting to participate in.  This was very considerate of you.  However, I need you to go and quickly.

I’m in agony, Eczema.  Our lifelong relationship has been full of ups and downs, shouts of, “My eczema is clearing up!” to cries of, “I don’t know why my skin is freaking out, but this is terrible!”  I don’t know what you want or how to make you go away, but I promise to do whatever it is.


Please leave.




Dear Corporate America

Dear Corporate America,

I am incredibly irritated with you and I blame you for my food allergies.

No, really, Corporate America. I consider you a direct cause of my food allergies.

The year was 1987, and my mother was a professional who just happened to have a baby. She did everything by the book and, as a new mother, was incredibly health-conscious. For the first several years of my life, the only “cookies” I knew were flavored rice cakes. I ate fruit and veggies and had a balanced diet that anyone would approve of. My mother did a really good job of ensuring my health.

However, because she had to work in order to ensure that health, I was fed milk-based formula as an infant. She had no idea at the time, but very early exposure to various foods can actually cause allergies to appear later in life. I believe this has happened to me.

I have been doing quite a bit of research regarding various skin ailments that I’ve suffered in life. The one cause that keeps popping up again and again is a milk allergy. This is a bit disconcerting as a large chunk of my diet consists of yogurt, cheese (so many cheeses…) and butter (through brownies and cookies).  I’m not happy about being forced to give these things up, but I must verify this alleged allergy.

Where did this allergy come from? Well, probably you, Corporate America. See, if my mother had been able to stay home with me and breastfeed, I probably wouldn’t be in this mess of elimination diets and a cheese-less existence. I might be able to look at ice cream without eczema flaring up. I might even be able to eat pizza.

Ultimately, I don’t blame my mother; she did what she thought was right at the time.  I don’t blame doctors; they never listen to blame, anyway.   I don’t blame cows or goats or dairy farmers.  And, though conspiracy theories are always fun, I don’t blame formula and soy milk manufacturers.  I blame you.  Corporate America, if you had just let my mother stay home and be a mother for awhile, I might not have these skin problems.  As it stands, I’m itchy and calcium-deficient and whiny.  Oh-so whiny.

I don’t expect you to fix this problem.  Unless you have a time machine, in which case, I expect you to fix this problem 24 years, 1 month and 3 days ago.

Thank you for listening.  Now that that’s off of my chest, I’ll cease whining about not eating dairy.