Tag Archives: delicious

Dear People Who Describe Non-Food Things as “Delicious”

Dear People Who Describe Non-Food Things as “Delicious”,

Your phrasing makes me shudder.  Apparently, anything and everything can and should be described as “delicious”.  I don’t particularly feel like going into the dictionary’s definition of the word, as it is broad and can really support both sides of this argument.  However, I want you to give the following phrases some thought:

“This wallaby cordon bleu is delicious!”

“This fur coat is delicious!”

“Those boots are delicious!”

“That fifteen-layer, chocolate-strawberry-pâté de foie gras cake is delicious!”

“Your baby is delicious!”

Now, I don’t know about you, but I imagined someone eating each subject as I wrote the above sentences.  And, that’s the problem, really.  Even though the word “delicious” has a just-barely-vague-enough definition to allow for non-food applications, it is so widely used to describe food in America, that it really shouldn’t be used for anything else.

Because, really, the mental image of someone eating a fur coat or my friend’s baby is simply horrible.

Please, please find other adjectives. They exist in abundance.

Please.

Sincerely,

Chelsea

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Dear Molten Chocolate Lava Cakes

Dear Molten Chocolate Lava Cakes,

If there ever comes a time when I think it’s absolutely ridiculous to bake you at midnight, I will–

Honestly, I don’t think that day will ever come.  Let’s just cross that bridge if we come to it, ‘kay?

Sincerely,

Chelsea