Dear Corporate America,
I am incredibly irritated with you and I blame you for my food allergies.
No, really, Corporate America. I consider you a direct cause of my food allergies.
The year was 1987, and my mother was a professional who just happened to have a baby. She did everything by the book and, as a new mother, was incredibly health-conscious. For the first several years of my life, the only “cookies” I knew were flavored rice cakes. I ate fruit and veggies and had a balanced diet that anyone would approve of. My mother did a really good job of ensuring my health.
However, because she had to work in order to ensure that health, I was fed milk-based formula as an infant. She had no idea at the time, but very early exposure to various foods can actually cause allergies to appear later in life. I believe this has happened to me.
I have been doing quite a bit of research regarding various skin ailments that I’ve suffered in life. The one cause that keeps popping up again and again is a milk allergy. This is a bit disconcerting as a large chunk of my diet consists of yogurt, cheese (so many cheeses…) and butter (through brownies and cookies). I’m not happy about being forced to give these things up, but I must verify this alleged allergy.
Where did this allergy come from? Well, probably you, Corporate America. See, if my mother had been able to stay home with me and breastfeed, I probably wouldn’t be in this mess of elimination diets and a cheese-less existence. I might be able to look at ice cream without eczema flaring up. I might even be able to eat pizza.
Ultimately, I don’t blame my mother; she did what she thought was right at the time. I don’t blame doctors; they never listen to blame, anyway. I don’t blame cows or goats or dairy farmers. And, though conspiracy theories are always fun, I don’t blame formula and soy milk manufacturers. I blame you. Corporate America, if you had just let my mother stay home and be a mother for awhile, I might not have these skin problems. As it stands, I’m itchy and calcium-deficient and whiny. Oh-so whiny.
I don’t expect you to fix this problem. Unless you have a time machine, in which case, I expect you to fix this problem 24 years, 1 month and 3 days ago.
Thank you for listening. Now that that’s off of my chest, I’ll cease whining about not eating dairy.