Tag Archives: Bonnie Tyler

Dear Creators of Music Videos During the 1980s

Dear Creators of Music Videos During the 1980s,

I realize that the ’80s were an interesting time in both the fashion and music arenas. Many, many mistakes were made during the ’80s, the least disconcerting of which involve tight rolled jeans and Punky Brewster.  However, even considering the times, I do not understand how certain music videos escaped the padded walls of the cells in which their creators were enclosed.

Seriously, why were the horrors that are the above videos unleashed on the public? Why were they recorded so that generations to come would be terrorized by Bonnie Tyler and those ninjas, disturbed by AG church flags waving around the sassy pirate from Dead or Alive, or just plain confused by Men Without Hats and their spontaneous Ren Fair?

With my limited understanding of how the recording industry works, I have to assume that multiple people were involved in the creation of these videos.  Of course, I’m sure there was that one guy who kept insisting that the idea was inspired, but someone had to agree with him and bolster his arguments.  Someone supported his vision, and after that, mob rule took over in whatever meeting was occurring and the bad ideas just kept flowing.  To you, someone, I have the following to say: Control. Yourself. Next. Time.

Seriously.  We, as a society, don’t need any more nightmares.

Sincerely,

Chelsea

P. S. Yes, I understand that there is a place in the world for artistic expression.  But, none of these videos make a statement; none of them have any meaning; they are just excursions into the bizarre and excruciating world of their creators’ brains.

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Dear Music Hipsters

Dear Music Hipsters,

For years I have pretended to be one of you.  While I haven’t been the type to seek out new music often, I have been inclined to reject popular songs outright in favour of obscure songs sung by bearded, flanneled, guitar-weilding artists in order to appear as if I have a refined taste in music.  Any songs that I am partial to that have ever been played on a Top 40 radio station, I have usually quarantined to the section of my favorite music entitled Guilty Pleasure Songs.  But, no more.

You see, lately, I’ve noticed that my Guilty Pleasure Songs lists is getting longer.  It now has one musical artist’s entire career on it.  Frankly, it’s getting out of control, and recently I realized that it’s because I’m embarrassed to admit that I like certain songs/artists/genres.  This all stems from my life-long desire to be a woman of refined tastes, a woman whose interests include reading classic literature, who knows the difference between classical and baroque music and who has an opinion on which is superior, who routinely chooses Wagner over the Wallflowers, who others consider an intellectualist.

We all have to come to terms with the truth at some point.  As none of the above things apply to me, I suppose it’s best to admit it sooner rather than later.

So, dear Music Hipsters, I’m here to admit a few things about my music tastes.  While I enjoy Mumford and Sons, Slow Club and Florence in the Machine, I also enjoy songs by R.E.M., Duran Duran and Billy Joel.  My most listened to album is Bringing Down the Horse by The Wallflowers.  I have never heard a Taylor Swift song that I haven’t liked.  In fact, “Love Story” made me cry once.  I will unironically listen to “Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Bonnie Tyler (though, all music-video-watching is surely ironic for that song).  There is a song called “Simple and Clean” that I discovered (and subsequently loved) because it is played at the end of one my favorite video games.  I enjoy the occasional Pat Benatar hit.  I have listened to U2 for the majority of my life, I don’t dislike Alanis Morisette’s voice and I find “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion to be a vocal triumph that few can mirror.  The Fray, The Backstreet Boys and The Cranberries have all released songs that I thoroughly enjoy.  And, while I prefer Fleetwood Mac’s version of “Landslide”, I will admit that I was at one time in the past six years borderline obsessed with the Dixie Chick’s “Traveling Soldier”.  I even like some songs by P!nk.  There, I admitted it.

It feels good to get that off of my chest after all these years.  I do enjoy the deeper, more intellectual music available.  However, I’m tired of pretending as if I don’t enjoy listening to the shallow, ridiculous stuff too.

Hope you’re all still okay with being friends with me.

Sincerely,

Chelsea