Parenting Oneself

Being an adult is usually something I enjoy.  However, it can become complicated when I sit around, putting off doing something, and suddenly realize that there’s no one in my life to make me do things and that I have to essentially parent myself.  This happens with a wide range of activities, everything from eating consistently to actually taking my contacts out and cleaning them rather than just sleeping in them for months until they become one with my corneas.

With this new-found responsibility, I find that certain tasks involve basically no inner dialogue at all (“Let’s make brownies! Okay!”), whereas others currently require quite a bit.

This morning, I had a situation in the vein of the latter…and it didn’t end the way I wanted it to.

7:15am. Chelsea awakens.

Me: Get up. You feel rested. Get up. Take your medicine. You wanted to exercise this morning.

Chelsea gets up, takes medicine, and falls promptly back into bed for another 45 minutes until her alarm goes off.

Me: You wanted to exercise. You wanted to go hiking.

Me: Yeah, but I’ve been having weird asthma-like symptoms and I don’t want to go hiking alone lest I PASS OUT AND DIE. DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE IN THE WOODS?!

Me: Just walk around the complex then. Whatever.

Chelsea ignores her own reasoning, plays HappyStreet for a few minutes, and finally drags self out of bed.

Me: Madness will ensue if I don’t eat first. Brekkie first. Then walking. And I think I’ll finish that episode of Once Upon a Time while I cook. Because cooking and eating eggs and sausage definitely takes forty minutes.

Chelsea watches two episodes of Once Upon a Time on account of cliffhangers involving murder and intrigue.

Me: You really need to go outside and walk. It’s going to get cold later.

Me: Yeah, but that takes energy. Look, I’ve already gotten into my walking clothing. That’s something!

Me: Go. Out. Side.

Me: Just a little more Once Upon a Time

Me: The only exercise you get right now outside of work is walking from the kitchen to the couch with a bowl of cereal in your hand. You need to go walk.

Me: Maybe you’re right. It looks kind of cloudy out now. Better get going on that walk before the storms roll in.

Chelsea walks outside, discovers it’s chilly and has started to sprinkle and immediately retreats to her warmish apartment lest she catch her death of cold.

So, this morning, I kind of failed.  Okay, I failed completely. There will be no exercising today. However, I’m hopeful that, with discipline and determination, I will be able to make a habit out of things that I am currently having to discuss with myself.

What about you? Is there anything that you have to talk yourself into doing? Do you think that ever ceases entirely?

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About Chelsea

"Hey, they say you're a natural. True or false?" "I just..." "Answer the question." "True, I guess." "Correct." -Ash and Kristofferson (Fantastic Mr. Fox) I allegedly have a way with words. I'm testing this theory. Right. Now. View all posts by Chelsea

9 responses to “Parenting Oneself

  • whatsherface2

    LOL I always justify watching a TV show while I’m doing something trivial, even if it doesn’t take 40 minutes like you said.

    • Chelsea

      Me too! I’m starting to catch on to my own tricks, though. Hahahaha… I’m trying to mix it up and complete tasks without entertainment…you know, like I used to do all the time before Netflix existed.

  • lolokirby

    I had a similar conversation, only it went something like

    “You have to go to the gym!”

    “Okay, I will!”

    *Goes home and makes meatball sub, watched 5 episodes of the X-Files*

    • Chelsea

      I’m the same way, but only with SOME things. I always feel really silly encouraging myself to do things. But, I’m hoping the inner dialogue will become shorter and maybe even nonexistent eventually…though, I’m not sure if that’s possible 100% of the time.

  • Areyourtwentiesajoke

    Constantlyyy have these discussions with myself, re: getting out of bed; getting ready for bed; working out; cleaning my apartment; folding laundry……

    • Chelsea

      Me too! I really want them to go away completely eventually. But, if I can just make them take less time before I actually get around to doing the inevitable task, I’ll be happy.

      • Areyourtwentiesajoke

        Me too. Even though I function like a legitimate adult for all intents and purposes, it’s those constant discussions that make me feel like I’m not fully there yet! But maybe everyone does it, who knows?

      • Chelsea

        That’s the conclusion I’m coming to. Like, the subject of the discussions may change with age, but I’m finding that a lot of people do it. Maybe it’s just the first steps in setting a routine. I don’t know. But, I know the conversations make me feel like a child for sure…hahaha…

  • SmartAssy

    This is hilarious, and I can really relate. I feel the same way when I plan to work out – even though I always end up enjoying it. For some reason, I am that way about buying groceries too, If I can make a meal out of peanut butter and cheerios, why push myself to go to the supermarket? It’s so stupid.

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