Dear Men Who Hike in Jeans, Button-Down Shirts and Dress Shoes,
I just have to say that, every time I pass one of you on the trails, deep in the woods on a warm day, I assume that you are there because you either have killed someone or plan on killing someone.
I have only passed two of you, and, to be fair, only one of you was wearing dress shoes. But, I have to wonder: why the jeans and button-downs in the woods? Why the dress shoes? In what world does this make sense?!
I will admit that I have probably seen one too many episodes of C.S.I., both the Miami and normal varieties. I’ve also watched my share of The Killing and a variety of suspenseful films involving serial killers and the like (The Bone Collector scarred me for life). But, really, when you’re getting dressed to traipse about in the woods, does your attire not seem strange to you?
I just think maybe you should think ahead and wear shorts and a t-shirt like normal hikers.