Monthly Archives: July 2012

Dear Christians Who Are Planning on Eating Chick-fil-A Tomorrow in an Effort to Accomplish Something Spectacular

Dear Christians Who Are Planning on Eating Chick-fil-A Tomorrow in an Effort to Accomplish Something Spectacular,

I will not be joining you.

This is not because I don’t hold to a biblical definition of marriage.  This is not because I think that homosexuality exempt from being classified as sinful.  This is not because of the month I spent wiping down tables at Chick-fil-A when I was eighteen and someone left their purple acrylic nails all over one of the tables and it scarred me for life a little.

No, this is very, very different.

It seems that most people who are participating in this anti-boycott-whatever-it-is are those who feel very strongly that the United States should enforce Christian values and beliefs among its citizens.  While I am in full support of Christian values and beliefs (as I, being a Christian, hold them myself), I do not think that the U.S. should be the prime enforcer of them.

Why?

Because the Bible is pretty explicit with its own teachings, and I don’t think the Lord needs help from the government.

No, really.

The conservative branch of American politics seems to have it in their heads that the government needs to get back to upholding and enforcing biblical principles.  This is kind of ridiculous for two reasons:

1. People who haven’t been transformed by the working of God on their hearts are not going to act in accordance with biblical teachings.  It is absurd to assume that people who are not Christian will accept the standards of the Lord with open arms. And, an attempt to enforce them doesn’t make the nation Christian; it only spreads about shallow moralism that saves no one and misleads many.

2. The last time I checked, the Lord is the one who enforces His standards, He is the one Who defines sin, and I’m pretty sure He doesn’t need us to eat chicken to accomplish this.

This goes beyond American politics.  The fact of the matter is, the American government doesn’t define a godly marriage; God defines a godly marriage.  Politicians don’t get to decide what’s morally right or wrong; the Lord does.  And while I don’t think we should applaud or support things that we know are wrong biblically, looking to the government to create biblical laws is frustrating and pointless.  God can and will enforce His own standards, whether the President of the U.S. or the president of a fast-food chain agrees with Him or not.

Oh, and this support-showing anti-boycott-thing doesn’t accomplish what should be our true goal as Christians, which is preaching the Gospel.

This is a disgusting distraction from what Christians should be doing.  Even if every activist stride you take is rewarded with biblical principles being set into place in our laws and across our country, even if every homosexual person gives up their lifestyle because they suddenly find it to be wrong, even if every person that’s ever lied or stolen or cheated on their spouse or let their anger get out of control or been lazy reforms their ways and becomes a productive, moral member of society, they will still all be productive, moral members of society on their way to eternal damnation if Christ has not transformed their hearts.

This whole thing has gotten out of control, and it’s blurring the already hazy lines between genuine Christian behavior stemming from a heart changed by God and putrid, meaningless moralism enforced by a national government.  What good is it if people know that you hate the idea of homosexual marriage if they never hear the Gospel?

So, though I will undoubtedly crave Chick-fil-A tomorrow (it is Wednesday, after all…I always want Chick-fil-A on Wednesdays), I will not be joining any of you there.  I cannot support the propagation of Cross-less moralism.

Sincerely,

Chelsea


Dear Manic Pixie Dream Girl Stock Character

Dear Manic Pixie Dream Girl Stock Character,

We need to talk.

You have a problem, and it’s a rather serious one.

For years, I was blind to your issues.  In fact, I have dedicated a large chunk of my life to attempting to be just like you.  Not just like Kirsten Dunst in Elizabethtown or just like Natalie Portman in Garden State, but just like you, the ultimate combination of all of the characters who fall in your spectrum.  I wanted to be the girl who appreciated life more than the people around her did, who relished nature, who approached difficult and awkward circumstances with Reckless Abandon.  I wanted to be the girl who lived carpe diem rather than just spewing it forth like the cliche that it is, who danced in parking lots, in the rain, in the woods, in the middle of walking her dogs just to prove to myself, friends and the world around me that I was unique and surely loved life.

And, more than anything, I wanted to change The Boy.  It doesn’t really matter which Boy, because, as you know, Manic Pixie Dream Girl, your shallow, hollow shell of a character ultimately fulfills her own purpose by changing whatever Tortured Soul is thrown her way.  The Boy is often complex, confused about his place in the world, possibly depressed, and has emotions beyond those of Wild Abandon.  And you change him.  You show him the error of his ways.  You show him how to love life – every minute – by appreciating small things and forcing him well outside of his comfort zone.  You are, in effect, his saving grace in what seems to be a bleak, monotonous situation.

The problem is that you shouldn’t be expected to change anyone.  Of course, people change people.  That does happen.  But the weight of The Boy’s eventual happiness often rests entirely on your tiny, Shins-loving shoulders.  And this is a problem.

The Boy doesn’t truly find his way in life.  He finds you, Manic Pixie Dream Girl.  You are responsible for changing him, you are the one in whom he finds his fulfillment, and if you have an off day, he will be detrimentally affected.

The above reasons are why I have decided to stop attempting to follow in your footsteps.  While I want to appreciate the life that has been given to me, I don’t want to force actions just so others think I’m appreciating life (when I don’t even enjoy dancing in parking lots most of the time).  I don’t want to feel the pressure of always having to be upbeat and quirky, even when I’m having a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day and really just need a hug and some prayer.  And I cannot change The Boy, whoever he happens to be.  I cannot be the agent of change or the steady bedrock upon which his entire appreciation for life rests.

I’m abandoning trying to copy your ways, and I really hope you abandon your ways as well.  You have been a token character in American media for far too long.  Your message is dangerous, your personality lacks depth and, while your love of life is admirable, your other qualities seem unhealthy, and I no longer desire them.

Sincerely,

Chelsea