Monthly Archives: August 2011

Dear Twilight Fans

Dear Twilight Fans,

I do not dislike the Twilight series because I’m a Harry Potter fan.

I do not dislike the Twilight series because I’m discriminatory against vampires or werewolves. (I mean, Lupin is my favorite.)

I do not dislike the Twilight series because I’m a critic who’s angry that nothing that she’s written has been published.

I do not dislike the Twilight series because I don’t know what I’m talking about, I just like to hate on fangirls, or I’m bitter with the world.

I dislike the Twilight series because Stephenie Meyer is a terrible writer. End of story.

Though Edward and Bella’s bizarrely codependent relationship is also a contributing factor.

But it’s mainly because of the terrible, laughable writing.

Sincerely,
Chelsea

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Dear Americas Best Value Inn (sic)

Dear Americas Best Value Inn (sic),

When I first passed you on a local highway, I thought very little of you. I assumed you were a lowly, stand-alone motel whose owners may or may not have the best grasp on grammar and punctuation. However, since first seeing you, I have stumbled upon no less than four of your establishments in four different cities in the DFW Metroplex. My original assumption about you was wrong; you are, in fact, a motel chain. This means that you are a company that employs more people than just Ma, Pa and Junior. Some of those people probably speak the native language of the country placed in your company’s name (which, coincidentally is the country in which you operate and conduct business).

Considering all of the above, I have one simple question for you: Do you enjoy the murder and mutilation of the English language?

Your name is pretty simple: Americas Best Value Inn. These four words don’t leave a lot of room for grammatical error, but somehow you’ve managed to throw one in the mix that I cannot overlook.

The word “Americas” should contain an apostrophe. There, I wrote it. Under no perceivable circumstances should your title not have an apostrophe in it. If the value of this inn is, in fact, America’s best, then it should read “America’s Best Value Inn.”

I don’t understand how such a flagrant and insulting error was made. Did you save money by not including the apostrophe in order to pass the savings on to your customers? Are apostrophes the Coach purses of the punctuation world? How much do they cost, anyway?

If that’s not the case, then I assume this error is simply that: an error. If this is true, I’m embarrassed for you. Any chain that doesn’t employ one person who would have noticed this mistake and fixed it is not a chain I would want to associate with.

I hope to hear from you concerning this issue. I also hope that you fix the error soon. Really, either way, it’s just embarrassing.

Sincerely,
Chelsea


Dear People Who Read My Blog for Some Reason

Dear People Who Read My Blog for Some Reason,

I am terribly sorry that I haven’t been posting as often as I used to.  I have been a bit busy, but that’s not really the reason I haven’t written.  I just haven’t had many letters to write.  I would love to have a wonderful excuse for why this lack of inspiration occurred, but I honestly just think that I haven’t been taking the time to stop and notice what’s going on around me.

I do plan on changing this fact.  Strangely enough, a movie I saw today inspired me to attempt to appreciate what’s happening around me in the world.  I do believe the Lord has me in the place that I’m in for a reason, and I would like to stop just trying to get by and start enjoying what’s going on in my life.  I don’t want to rush through life without taking the time to relish in the relishable things, and I don’t want to complain about or treat with contempt the life that God has for me.

I will definitely take more time to stop and appreciate what is going on around me.  I also wish to take the time to praise the Lord for the place He has me in right now.  He is good, and His good plan is deserving of glory.

I hope that, with my paying greater attention to life around me, I will have more letters to write shortly.

Thank you so much for reading.

Sincerely,

Chelsea