Dear Pill Bugs That Appear Inexplicably All Over the Floor of My House,
Where are you coming from? Some sort of creepy lair filled with creepy pill-bug-made tunnels under my creepy ceramic tile flooring? You pop up out of nowhere and crawl all over the floor of my house, and then you just die. For no reason. I don’t understand what your angle is, Pill Bugs. Are you attempting a siege on my house? You’ve accomplished nothing if this is the case. You’ve gained no ground, captured no prisoners and caused no one to surrender. You’ve simply curled up and died in various crevices of my house, leaving your creepy, roly-poly exoskeletons everywhere.
Is this some sort of passive resistance thing? Because I think you might be failing. You may want to reconsider your land-seizing techniques. I don’t foresee you gaining a house or even a 12″x12″ piece of tile if you keep using the methods you are currently favoring.