Dear Ke$ha

Dear Ke$ha,

There are many things about you that bother me. For one, your image is trashy. Another thing is the complete lack of class in your lyrics and demeanor. That video for “Tik Tok” certainly isn’t winning you any points in my book, either.

However, the thing that bothers me most about you isn’t listed above. The thing that bothers me most about you is the spelling of your name.

I understand that your name is, in fact Kesha. But because of the restyling of your name, you have chosen to go by Ke$ha, a choice which makes you appear to be entirely uneducated.

What you may not have learned in whatever school taught you to read is that symbols don’t make sounds. The dollar sign ($) is silent. It is not a proper replacement for the letter ‘s’ as it is not pronounced at all. It is simply meant to indicate that the numbers following it are in dollars rather than pounds or rupees. One will occasionally say “dollars” when it appears, but it is never, ever to be used to replace an ‘s’.

So, this leaves you with a choice: you may change the spelling of your name back to the one your parents gave you (Kesha) or you may accept the fact that I will be pronouncing your name in one of the following ways: “Keha,” “Ke-ha-dollars,” or “Ke-dollar-sign-ha”. I’m leaning toward the latter.

Thank your for your time.

Sincerely,
Chelsea

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About Chelsea

"Hey, they say you're a natural. True or false?" "I just..." "Answer the question." "True, I guess." "Correct." -Ash and Kristofferson (Fantastic Mr. Fox) I allegedly have a way with words. I'm testing this theory. Right. Now. View all posts by Chelsea

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