Dear Christmas-Eve-Day Shoppers, I understand that various circumstances have thrust you into the unfortunate position of last-minute shopping. I respect those circumstances and everything you have gone through. However, I think I speak for all members of any customer-service-based operation when I say this: I am not to blame for your stress. I have been here all season, helping customers find items. Today begins the eighth day in a row that I have worked. I’ve been pulling full-time hours when I’m a part-time employee. I have been helpful and nice and will continue to be so through closing hours today. Considering all of that, please keep in mind that whatever circumstances put you in this understandably stressful position-be it a forgetful spouse, a tyrannical employer, a late paycheck or simple laziness-were not caused by me or any of my fellow employees. Therefore, I’m requesting hours before my work day begins that you act nice and cheerful and friendly. Or at least refrain from being rude.
And please don’t do that thing where you talk to me like I’m not a human being. I haven’t had that happen in awhile, and I’d prefer for things to stay that way.
I thank you for listening to my request. Have a wonderful Christmas!