Dear Ballet

Dear Ballet Class,

I have a bone to pick with you. I only took you for a year, but in that year, I was dead-set on being the best dancer in every class. I devoted hours to practicing tendus, chaine turns and perfecting my por de bra. I stretched for hours a week, wore my hair in a painful bun for class and learned to put on fake eyelashes for a performance. I loved you ballet. And I still love you, which is why I’m writing you today.

I would really like to go to a certain Christmas-themed ballet performance involving a terrifying man-doll-kitchen-appliance thing and a rat king. However, because all ballet teachers everywhere find it necessary to force music from this performance on their students at Christmas time, I don’t know if I can handle the music. I’m slightly paranoid that hearing “The Waltz of the Flowers” will reinstate my nervous eye twitch because of the amount of times I was forced to dance to it two years ago.

Why must you turn what should be a joyous night at the theatre into something so horrific? Why, Ballet? Why?

Please respond soon. I’d really like to know the reasoning prior to attending said performance.




About Chelsea

"Hey, they say you're a natural. True or false?" "I just..." "Answer the question." "True, I guess." "Correct." -Ash and Kristofferson (Fantastic Mr. Fox) I allegedly have a way with words. I'm testing this theory. Right. Now. View all posts by Chelsea

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